You know you’re 100% Ethiopian/Habesha if:
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1. You have at least 10 relatives in D.C.
2. You make eye contact and nod your
head if you see another habesha on
the street
3. You can spot an habesha from a mile away
4. Your house and clothes smell like onions
5. Your mom is in the kitchen for 10 hours
& still is not done cooking.
6. Your freezer is stuffed with kebay,
berbere, and used up oil
7. You, your father, and your mother have three
different last names
8. You are familiar with the expression “Waaa” and its
various functions, which can be used to express a
warning, excitement, anger, sadness, etc
9. Your mother and her friends call each other every
day to update each other on gossips
10. Your parents always make you take pictures by flowers
or beautiful things to send to Ethiopia
11. Your parents want to call your name but they call all your
siblings first before they finally get it right
12. A party starts at 3 and everyone shows up at 6
13. Whenever you or parents see something disturbing you
mumble “Ayyyyyeee America”
14. You pronounce your last name 20 times for people
and they still don’t get it right
15. Your parents tell you that the only REAL careers are
Doctor or Pharmacist
16. You recognize a simple family gathering to be more
than 50 people you don’t recognize
17. You know at least 7 people who drive a taxi
18. Kibae is essential for both your hair and food
19. You have at least 1 relative living in
America Illegally
20. You show up to school/work, smellin
like “WOT”
21. Your parents say things like “what did he said” or
“what did he did”
22. If your parents say: “shat up your mouz”
23. You have never heard your parents say ..”I love You”..
to each other
24.You are forced to eat more injera even though you have
already had 2 plates
25. Your parents are positively sure you will marry habesha,
and will have it no other way
26. Its forbidden to get anything lower than A on your report
card, maybe a B, but a C is out of the question
27. You always try to get a discount at a store even if the item
is on SALE
28. Your parents tell you how everything is better here than
back home,water, food ,etc.
29. Your papers say your 5 years younger than you
actually are
30. You listen to the same Ethiopian tape everyday for
6 months straight and still don’t know the words
31. You or your parents fight over who gets
to pay the bill
32. At every wedding it looks like all the
women have robbed a jewelry store
33. Everybody back home thinks that you are RICH
34. Your parents have an old black and white portrait
hanging on the wall in which they do not look directly
at the camera
35. Bob Marley is pronounced “Bom Barley”
36. You hear good news and you hear people say:
“elelelelelelelelelelelele”
37. You pronounce “brother” as “brazer”
38. You or your parents say you’re going back home every
year and never go
39. You have family who’ve been in the states since the 70s,
and they still have an accent and don’t know
how to use a computer
40. The men are always in the living room talking about
politics, and the women are in the kitchen gossiping
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